Traitors, I once loved them too.

Everything I love 

seems to leave me. 

Thankfully I know a little bit about God, 
It makes things bearable. 
The many deaths,
the many family members in different cities and different states. 
Some are in countries that abide to different faiths. 
Even those that have betrayed the family tree,
I still remember the good times
but I wouldn’t hesitate to put a gun in their mouth.
They have violated the family vow 
but I won’t say how. 
I’ve decided that detachment is for me, 
I try to train others to the fact that one day I’ll leave, 
but the truth is that the one who needs training is me.
I need to see a shrink 
because I still can’t cry
I still can’t tell those I love that I do really love. 
At times I’m like a dove 
but then the darkness comes and sends me in the shadows.  
I’m not shallow, 
I feel, I do feel!!! 
I carry baggage and I’m afraid to let others carry it with me. 
My shrink says the key is for me to open up 
If only it were as easy as filling a tea cup. 
It ain’t 
My efforts seem faint
I try but I feel like everyone will leave
I’ve seen them leave,
I leave
They leave.

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